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Russell Simins
I'm Not A Model
Album: Public Places
Genres: Alternative
A fuzzy blast of party funk from the Blues Explosion drummer, complete with helpful hints on the proper handling of testicles!

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	With its string samples, funky drum loops, warm electric piano riffs and distorted vocals, "I'm Not A Model" could easily be a Beck outtake, but the slammin' fuzz bass and relentless groove keeps the track (which also happens to be the opening cut from Simins' new Public Places CD) from being just another sample-happy ProTools exercise. Especially hilarious are the brief snippets of what sounds like a "books on tape" reading of Joan Garrity's The Sensous Woman, including advice on administering oral pleasure and the proper handling of "balls." And if "Mom and Dad get ready for the next world" doesn't become the party chant of this New Year's Eve, you might as well just stay home.

	*Dan Epstein*
	Dan Epstein is a Los Angeles-based journalist and pop-culture historian whose work has appeared in L.A. Weekly, BAM, Raygun, Guitar World and the Los Angeles Times, among other publications. His first book, Twentieth Century Pop Culture, was published in 1999 by Carlton Books.